No. Is a complete sentence.

 


We seem to believe that if we don't explain ourselves, we aren't being polite.  

"I'm sorry, I can't do that because. . . . . . . .. (fill in some 'excuse').  

It isn't a requirement to share your reasons for refusing anything.  

In fact, it weakens your refusal.  

Now, if you prefer the inquirer to understand something about you more fully, esp perhaps for a future similar request, by all means explain, but don't over-explain.   Share, but no need, usually, to apologize.  You are the only one who must believe, agree with, prefer, your refusal.  

A simple, "No thank you."   or, "I'm not available", or "No."  can suffice.  Watch your tone however, if you do not wish to be thought unkind, uninterested or mistaken.  Smile, add a "thank you for the opportunity", or "perhaps another time' if you feel the need to soften a negative response.  Just be certain.  

What about spam callers?  

Pushy sales people? 

Unwelcome relatives? 

A waitress?  

I'm of the opinion that every reply you give, represents you, not the person asking.  Harshness, paints a harsh demenor on your image, not theirs.  Unkindness sticks with you, not them and anger only fuels itself.  

I learn from my own musings for certain.  Perhaps mostly I write these for my own growth.  Still, perhaps someone might be more like me than they hope, and will remember to be kind, if kindness is what is preferred in our own lives.  

With that, I give you permission.  Just say no, but only if YOU are the one who longs for that response. 

Do you have other examples?  I'd love to hear them!  


 

image by chatgpt - thanks! 

Comments

  1. I always feel bad for saying no. But the way you put it, I can rethink it... but it would be a hard habit to break.

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