Grief is a difficult emotion. It is hard to even think about. Our heart constricts; our palms sweat; our mouth gets dry; sometimes even when nothing has actually happened. Yet, it is as much a part of our lives as joy, fun, success and contentment. It is a rare human who slides through without at least a degree of it tagging along, yet we do not know how to embrace it.
I’ve learned two things. One, as mentioned, it will come.
Two, I can choose to acknowledge it, respect it, or give in to it.
A.D. Wolfet said, “Feel it, to Heal it.” I think what he meant was that in order to actually get through something difficult, you have to actually allow it to be felt. If we push away difficult feelings, burry them deeply in our heart, they will remain right there, a bump in the carpet always tripping us up at the most inopportune times.
Often, we think of grief as something we feel when someone passes on. Elizabeth Küblar-Ross gave us that grief model, and many of us are willing to give ourselves time after a loss due to death. However, I’ve learned that quite often losses like divorce; a beloved job; a home or financial lifestyle, have many of the same characteristics and grief processing.
Think about your world. Think about the losses in your life briefly. Have you allowed yourself to truly feel them? Have you allowed them to heal completely?
Have you bargained, been angry, denied, been depressed and finally accepted that loss?
If not, are you willing to respect it enough to do so, and thus allow it to finally heal?
Yes, it will be painful. But haven’t you carried that pain around long enough as it is?
Get your broom, and let’s cough, sneeze, sweat and sigh our way back to balance shall we?