Showing posts from January, 2010

Yodaish Wisdom

"So sure are you.  With you it is always, 'I can not.'" 
Do you have little voices in your head too?  Not the ones that mean you are crazy, (at least not entirely so) but the ones coming from your best or worst selves, telling what 'reality' is; What you can not have, what you can not do, what you can not be? 
What if you could? What if you didn't listen to the worst part of you, and only listened to the Yodaish wisdom of the best part of you?  Could you change how you feel?  Your life?  How you look at your future? Your past?  
 I learned about a little game.  It is playful and fun and just makes you feel good.  It is from and is called the 'What if' game.  (Or Wouldn't it be great if. . . ) Basically, you merely take where you are, and shift your focus to another true, but more 'feel good' place of possibilities.  
For instance.  My husband wants a truck.  We aren't currently in a position to go out and buy a new t…

Once I was young. . .

Today I am Fifty.

While that might have an ominous ring to it (and believe me it does), I also look back at what that means.  I have lived thus far, a good life for the most part.  Far from story-book perfection, but certainly better than 98% of the world's population.  That brings me to the topic of gratitude.  While there are certainly some grumbles associated with a new decade before me, mostly I find that I am increasingly aware and grateful for all that I have NOT had to experience, and all that I have been blessed to.

 My memories are a collection of happy experiences, delightful and loving connections and educational encounters.  Before me is a wide open expanse of possibilities.  The mirror could be more gentle, and yet it is possibly a pretty good friend with a bit of gentle chiding mixed in with the honest appraisal to be found there.  It could be worse afterall.

50 years ago, I came into this world with a holler.  I suspect that I'm entering my next decade with one a…

Pioneering Today

(Photo from:
The return of good times is not wholly a matter of money. There is prosperity to living which is quite as important as prosperity of the pocketbook. It is not enough to be willing to make the best of things as they are. Resignation will get us nowhere. We must build what amounts to a new country. We must revive the ideals of the founders. We must learn the new values of money. It is time for pioneering – to create a new security for the house and the family…Where we were specialists in spending, we are now becoming specialists in living.” This editorial is from the Ladies Home Journal in October, but I'm not going to tell you what year just yet.

I chose the above photo to go with today's thoughts because my husband is a fisherman.  He absolutely loves the outdoors, the thrill of the chase, the idea of conquering.  I come from rich pioneer stock.  I'm often awed by my ancestry and the things these women suffered and overcame.  …


I attended a lecture once where the speaker showed a video.  It began with a man in an elevator. After a short bit, other people entered.  They all faced the back of the elevator. The original man, obviously very confused, turned around and stood facing the back of the elevator also.  This continued as the group of people changed directions or took off heir hats.  Different people would be the 'odd man out'.  It was curious to watch how some would nonchalantly clear their throats and inch into conformity, while others would immediately follow the crowd.  Which type are you?  None of those shown continued to do their 'own thing' without regard to the majority. 

Sometimes it is essential to 'fit in'.  Life would be chaotic if people were so obstinate that they refused to do anything that 'everyone else was doing' for instance, sitting quietly in a church, saluting the flag, following traffic signals as per the laws of the land.  However, there is plenty o…


Who are you? 

In our current society, that seems to be the buzz-word for almost any endevor.  We Tweet ourselves, we Blog ourselves, we Facebook and Spacebook (Yeah, I know it is wrong) and put ourselves 'out there' in so many levels.  What does all of this say about us? 

Socrates' guiding wisdom was to , "Know Thyself."  Does this mean that everyone else must know us too?  What does the world know about me?  If you enter my name into google (depending on if you use my name now, my name a year ago, or my 'online name' Chantaclair) you'll get hundreds of returns.  Will that compilation actually allow anyone to understand and know me?

Perhaps they will believe so, and yet I'm not certain that I know myself fully even yet.  Life is a series of knowing.  Knowing what I want, who I am, who I was, who I can be, all rattle around my thoughts.  Do they yours as well? 

I've learned that branding, presenting, knowing, is all about who I wish to present …

Battle of the Sexes

Carol Gilligan says that "Women perceive things in terms of relationships and connections and men perceive things in terms of individuality and autonomy" .

(Borrowed the graphic from "Indivisible, a Marriage Strengthener" - David Shaffer)

Whether  or not you agree with her, it is an interesting topic and certainly one that society perpetuates.  Perhaps though, it would be better if we did both, took a nice long look at what we are alike in, and what we differ in. 

For myself, I know it is very true.  However, I'm also a Blue, an Aquarian, a Redhead and an INFJ.  All of which equates to RELATIONSHIPS. . .

It may be hard-wired in us, as the 'gatherers' vs the 'hunters' in our genetic coding.  Our ancestors moved together in groups, watching each other's backs, picking up what her neighbor missed and chatting and assisting the group.  The hunters on the other hand went out often in groups, but groups that separated silently, watched each other&#…

Profound Connection

I was reading something today that really bothered me.  I love 'the Comfort Queen' by Jennifer Louden. She is funny, insightful and very helpful in creating an abundant life.  However, sometimes it is very evident that my goals and morality separates me from even those that I admire.  She said something to the affect of, "My connection and commitment with my women's group is as strong as with my marriage."  I find that highly disturbing.  Perhaps that is the very essence of why so many marriages fail.  We do not initially, or internally place them in the highest regard.  We no long respect their place in our lives as not merely another relationship, but as the first human relationship, second only to that with the Divine. 

If we are 'ONE'. . . it is impossible to disconnect from our mate and put that relationship in a compartment.  We can not expect to have a thriving fulfilled marriage, if we are merely placing it on the save level as a woman's group…

Health and Illness and Downtime

There are days when we all feel a bit 'under the weather'.  Days when we aren't up to our usual energetic and productive selves, we tend to write them off and (after they are over of course) actually almost enjoy the 'down time'.  Then there are weeks that stretch on and you feel like you'll never be 'back'.  That can be daunting on your enthusiasm and outlook.  It feels like things might not ever be back to 'normal' and even starts to sort of feel like 'normal' is this icky-less-than-well feeling of being ill. 
So, what is the good news? How do we filter through all the negative self-talk and the iggling little deamon on our shoulder who keeps whispering that we will never feel good again?  The only answer I've found, is to embrace the feeling of 'unwellness' with a stipend that it is only temporary.  Even as the 24-hour expected flu turns into a three-day 'something' and then after a day of 'almost-but-not-quite…

Life Coaching

Many have asked 'What is a Life-Coach'.  In our crazy world, there are so many resources and challenges to face.  While therapists are highly beneficial in many cases, most of us don't feel comfortable, nor do we actually require therapy.  The difference is one of focus.  In Life-coaching, we look forward.  We determine the resources you already have, the areas where you most would like to focus and we share and discover and uncover and rediscover the tools to move forward. 

Looking at why we arrived where we are if we are lost can be helpful, but usually it is more helpful to see where we want to go, and how to get there from where we are currently.  It may be interesting to see where we went wrong, but where we take the next step is really the only thing that will get us up and moving. 

Like a fitness coach, or a business coach, or even a relationship coach, a life-coach has the tools, the ability and the skills to guide you along your own personal path to success and ba…

Does Motivation Last?

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. ~ Zig Ziglar

New year, new chances, new goals, new resolutions.  New, new, new. . . like a just-made baby, we love new things.  We love the smells, the freshness, the ability to forget the old and start over again. Still, it descends on us too often shortly after the newness has worn off, and we wonder why it doesn't last. 

There is something inherently beautiful about renewal.

Empty to be Filled

I've often wondered
about the rhythms of life
the emptying
the sleeping
the eating.

Why are we so high maintenance?
Why must I be interrupted to pause?
What are the lessons to be taught?

Insomniac ponderings
about the stillness of rest,
the natural purging
of impurities
and the hunger to being attended to
caught my attention.

Why can we not go forever
without sleep?
Why must we pause
to allow our bodies to fill
and empty
time and again?

Then, as I lay in sleepless qu…