People talk about things until they don't need to talk about them anymore.

 

100 Personal Quotes - #4  ""People talk about things until they don't need to talk about them anymore."

 Confession, this used to be about ME being patient with others.  Waiting to watch their expressions and need to talk about something that perhaps they’ve forgotten that they have already told me.  HOWEVER, I’m finding that now, it applies to myself equally if not more-so.  I hear myself telling a story that I know, as the words are even coming out of my mouth, I’ve told before.  I’ve told THIS person before.  I even apologize with, “I know I’ve told you this before. . . “ and continue on! 

At the same time, I’m mentally -I’d hopefully never embarrass someone out-loud- saying, “Here we go again, s/he’s told me this multiple times now!” 

I think, (enter thoughtful pause here) that ofttimes, the need is still there to share for several reasons.  One, they might not have felt you understood what they were really saying the first time.  Two, if they know you understood, they may feel that there wasn’t enough feed-back for the topic’s importance to you.  Three, perhaps they (I) have a new angle or a different emphasis to add to the topic, and of course there is Four – they’ve plain forgotten who they shared it with.

Here are a couple hints, if it is an unusually long conversation indication.  Add some of the details that you know.  Them – “Have I told you about the day we went to the falls. . .’  YOU, “Oh, yes, wasn’t that the time that your dog nearly drowned?  That was so scary!”  Them, “Yes!  I haven’t been about to get it out of my mind. . . .” 

You have shortened the retell by about half, because they no long need to give you backstory to get to the crux of their need to share. 

Another way is to ask the leading question right off after their beginning, YOU – “hey, do you still worry about it happening again?”  Them, “I do!  That’s what I wanted to ask your advice on. . . “

Think about it.  Listen for the clues that tell you their ‘why’.  Just listening is sometimes the greatest gift you can offer someone with concerns.  Ask leading questions.  Nod, and be interested in the person, not merely the story.  It is, after all, them who hopefully you are hoping to better the relationship with, for whatever reason.    Enjoy the ‘do-overs’.  As you age, you’ll have mostly stories to tell too.  If you are the repeater, (mea culpa), Try asking if they have heard the set up, before going into the ‘what’ over again, that way you can get to the part that really interests you, the why.