Th'Muse

I would be remiss if I didn't write just a little about the most beautiful holiday seasons.  For some, they are joy-filled, exciting, perfect.  For many others, too many, they are stress-filled, over-taxed and sometimes very lonely. Much of the season is created by our circumstances.  When I was happily married with little ones, it was stress-ful, certainly, but it was full of joy and anticipation and fun.  Then when that family splintered, I was left with the feeling that I had to 'do it all'.  See every Christmas show, participate in every bit of music, over-spend and over-do to make up for the 'brokenness' that was now to be our 'new normal'. Then the next year, I fell into apathy.  Painful, painless apathy.  I just didn't care.  The tree was purchased, but never decorated until Christmas Eve.  The bare minimums were the rule as it was 'his year' for the children.  It was lonely and sad, but there were still moments of joy....

So. . . there are reasons that my last post was months ago, but there are no real excuses.  I seem to find the time to do other things that I have 'no time for'.  I think that the reasons, while valid, still are only excuses for a deeper lack of motivation, inspiration perhaps, or priority.  Yes I believe that is it.  I am motivated, and WANT to write, I want to assist others with the tools and ah-ha moments that come so swiftly and often, and yet I don't 'get to it'.  I definitely have constant ideas swirling around, a list of 'posts to write', so that isn't it either, but priority might just be it.  Of late, I've discovered a new sense of transparency.  A sort of sense of willingness to be more open with my flaws and needs and ideas and disquiet.  Here are some of my 'reasons' and understand that they are in no particular order other than what pops into my head first. A flood that left us without a kitchen for five months (still not...

Forgive Quickly I will when she does!   I’ll forgive, but I’ll never forget!   Fine, but not until they’ve paid! I often am not sure about why I’m angry exactly.   I have found however, that when I pause and remember this quote I heard years ago, the anger, the bitterness and the fear often melts into a sort of guilty knowledge that I’m only hurting myself more.   It went something like this: It seems to simple, and yet at times it is really difficult to just let go.   To know that my reliving, making excuses and wallowing isn’t   helping at all.   Not even a little.   IN the case of a relationship I want to keep valid or in tack, it is pouring salt into the open wounds.   Someone also said, you can be right, or you can be happy, sometimes you can’t be both.   I sorta like happy better.   So when I choose to quickly forgive, I don’t waste time.   Especially when I know I’ll event...

It Is What It Is Or is it? Life is hard. Making money is hard. Relationships don’t work. It is too easy to quit. It is what it is. I don’t live in a mansion, but I love my home. I’m   not a dance teacher with my own studio, but I love my voice students.  I’m not a size four, but I’m enjoying being a six. It is what it is.  Anything can be made to be worse than it is, or better than it is, just by where you choose to focus. Yes, something may be a certain way, but are there no other choices, Really?   Can one thing be shifted, even a little?   For me, sometimes the phrase is a sigh.   It is my crutch, something I lean on so that I don’t have to look deeper and fix what is broken. Then other times it is a support, a soft place to land when I consider what my choices are, and what they are NOT.   Sometimes just the ‘knowing what you can change, and what you can not’ is a warm blanket allowing me to relea...

Ten Specific Tools to assist in positive mood, motivational and connection changes. Measuring Tape:   a Your ABC’s.   Each of us have things that go wrong in life.   We are affected by Adversary.   What we Believe about the cause, will form our Consequences.   For three days (or until you have five examples) write down A- Your adversarial event.   B – Your belief about why the event occurred and C – The Consequence for you because of the event.   For example:    A – You called your friend, and left a message, but they didn’t return your call.   B – “They didn’t call me back because. . .   (They don’t really care about me, they were out of town, I’m not a very good friend, so of course they don’t want to talk to me. . . whatever) C – I felt ______ ( They didn’t call because I’m not a good friend, so I felt depressed and didn’t bother calling anyone else) and so I ____________.          ...

A Reason Isn’t Evil, It Is Just A Reason.   – NLP I think, and isn’t that why you are reading this, to see what I think?   Anyway, I think. . . that too often we demonize so many of our little imperfections that we forget that every one of them is there because it gives us something.   While it may and probably is better that we rid ourselves of poor habits, annoying tendencies and unbecoming personality traits, I think we forget that we have to honor those choices before we can send them to their ‘thank you for your service’ retirement.    I know that I used to really hate to get up early.   Hated it.   Loved luxuriously sleeping in and staying up until the wee hours of the morning, sometimes not even going to bed at all.   While I wanted to ‘change’ it, because ‘people’ said it was better for me, I didn’t feel I had the capacity or the motivation.   I wanted to my freedom and I gave every ‘reason’ I could come up with to show both h...