Arriving Where You Began

Ever feel like, no matter how long you work to conquer something; no matter how many times you have lost ten lbs; or gotten ahead in the fast lane; or eliminated that nasty habit; you look out at the road ahead and find you weigh the same thing you did a year ago; you are right behind that stupid over-jacked truck; and here you are again indulging in your favourite sin. 

No?  Great!  (now tell me how. . . ) Unfortunately, like the figure eight train track, retracing the same path again and again, I often feel that way.  I get all fired up and I make amazingly (or so I think) simplified and obtainable goals, I make a plan, I even work my plan and have great success!  Then, one stormy night months later, I take stock and find out that I'm right back at square one.  (I'm mixing metaphors aren't I?) 

So, I decided that there has to be a reason for it.  There has to be some amazingly simple principle that I am  completely  missing and I'll smack myself upside the head when I 'get it'.  Then I did.  Life is a figure eight.  It isn't about stepping from one place to another and never looking back.  That is why the words, home, remember, renew, rediscover, connect and return have such emotional responses attached to them.  We like seeing things again. We love coming upon somewhere that we know, and having information to share about the last experience we had with it. 

I thought then, that perhaps, just perhaps, instead of  'you should have known better!' and 'why can't you put this to rest!' and 'here we go again. . .' being nasty self-discouraging lectures, I might just do better if I looked at my returnings as a blessing.  Perhaps the ten lbs I've put on since my wedding are each beautiful memories.  One, I'm sure, was from the thanksgiving dinner at our house with all seven of our children in attendance and a bounty spread out across two rooms.  Another was the dark chocolate covered peanuts that my husband bought me at the race track to keep me happy while he thrilled to the sport I was just trying to understand.  Oh, and we can't forget the pound put on after we ate the candy-house my grandbabies and I build at our "Ahma's party".  No, instead, I'll be grateful for each of them, and look forward to the new gym membership I'll enjoy with my husband, the hours I have to get back into Yoga, which I have dearly missed and the excitement I'll feel when my skinny jeans are just a titch loose again.  
Publish Post



So. . .here is to returning.  Many places are worth a second (or third or fourth. . . ) visit.

(Photo from Prague)

Comments

  1. Crystal DeverMarch 5, 2010 at 9:15 PM

    Yes, that happens to me about daily. (As in, 'didn't I just clean up this mess?' :) J/K) But how am I supposed to, for example, be grateful that I once again, couldn't keep up with the laundry? I am grateful for the clothes, and the memories had in them, but I still can't feel good about not being able to keep them all clean. Interesting thoughts though.

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  2. MGSKellerMarch 17, 2010 at 5:53 PM

    Ah, gratitude isn't meant to belie reality. It is meant to raise your spirits so that NEXT time, you'll have more resolve to do ONE thing differently. Perhaps getting into piles. That you could be grateful for. Baby steps deserve notice also.

    MSK

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